On 7th December many important people in Mum's live gathered in Sutton Coldfield to celebrate her life - those unable to be there marked this day in their own ways

Meg spoke on behalf of us all within the service about Mum - something I thought may be good to share:

"A very warm welcome to you and many thanks for joining us in the Celebration of Elizabeth Barker’s Life.
And what a life! I know where to begin with this story and I know where it ends, but the middle part is so full.
 
Elizabeth Barker, née Readman, was born a Sunderland lass on 15th December 1925, of which she remained proud throughout her life.  Feisty and loving from the start, her family came first. She saw having children as a gift, but also valued her friendships very highly.
She was always a “good girl”.  One story she told me was of promising to be careful if she was allowed to wear her best new Sunday dress to go and play… but she just couldn’t resist doing roly-polys down the lovely grassy bank at Barnes Park. You can imagine the resulting grass stains. Arriving home dejected and ashamed, she was forgiven when our grandmother saw how genuinely repentant she was.
 
This possibly illustrates something very basic in her nature….a need to do and say the right thing, but on occasions, getting just too carried away by her passions… which in many cases actually did lead her to do and say the right thing! 
 
Mum’s relationship with both of her parents was extremely close. She was able to talk to her mum about nearly everything.  
Her love of music and dancing came from her father, who had eclectic tastes and, like Mum, a quest for life. As his wife didn’t dance, he was thrilled once his daughter, Betty, was old enough to join him on the dance floor. Mum was equally delighted as the first among her friends to be allowed to go to dances - with her Dad. “Strictly” had nothing on this pair!
This love of music and dancing has certainly influenced more than one of the following generations…
 
Her father also taught her to play tennis and introduced her to ice skating. She became quite an accomplished skater, ice dancing in a show alongside her sister Mary. She also became a season ticket holder at the Ice Hockey in Durham. She had somehow managed to secure seats directly behind the team bench so that she could admire the players, particularly the Canadian ones, from close up. 
 
She had close relationships with her younger brother and sister, Harry and Mary. Though these relationships were quite different, she always wanted to look after them. Later this caring extended to our cousins, Katherine, Caroline and John, in her role as Auntie Betty.
 
Betty was a clever and hard-working student. She loved to achieve and push herself. Like her eldest daughter, she was a great netball player…. always playing with passion. 
On leaving school, at 16, she went to work for the Inland Revenue, work she enjoyed, she could do the maths but especially liked the front desk where she got to speak to and, more importantly, help people with their queries.
 
She was a pioneer in her time, taking a huge step in accepting the challenge of a transfer to Derby when the war ended. Her boss at the Tax Office in Sunderland gave the ‘girls’ 3 choices: to downgrade their promotion; have temporary contracts or move to another tax office in the country. She wasn’t having that and gave herself 6 months to try out a new place, breaking her mother’s heart by leaving Sunderland. She agreed to give it a try for 6 months, turned up in Derby for work with no idea of where she was going to stay and ended up in digs with a landlady, who didn’t take lady lodgers as “they were always washing their hair!” After a week’s “trial” no further mention of Mum’s leaving was made, and her hair was always beautiful.
 
After 5 lonely months Mum was preparing to return to her beloved Sunderland when she met Ken…outside church one day… Having recovered from him thinking she was his friend's Irish cousin, he invited her to a Church dance the following week…She told us that one of his chat-up lines was, “Are you coming to our Passion Play at church?”
 
Cycling outings in the Derbyshire Dales with picnics on Sundays after church and winning at tennis due to her fearsome left-handed strokes, always to Dad’s backhand, meant that romance won and Betty stayed…. the only regret being Ken’s lack of enthusiasm on the dance floor. But, as Mum would say, you can’t have everything!
Their wedding took place on 7th July 1951. 
 
They settled in Stockton - on Tees, often visiting Sunderland where their first child, Monica was born, followed by myself and Elizabeth within 4 years. Dad’s change of job meant a move back to Derby, where Christine was born, completing the family of 6. Shortly after Christine’s birth in 1962, we moved again, to Leeds this time, which Mum remembered as a very happy and exciting time……so do we! 
During this period of her life Mum became very involved in The Grail, who were a cornerstone to both her spiritual growth and many important friendships.
This involvement impacted all of our lives, with friendships that sustain to this day. It was a perfect way for Mum to feel she was contributing to the church & society, in addition to her important role as a mother, in her own words: The Grail changed my whole way of looking at God, and the church. I saw the church in a very different light once I met the Grail. I saw a side of it I could identify with, and I hadn’t before. I had a lot of questions in my mind but there was nobody to give me answers until I met the Grail. I think they were an answer to prayer – yes, they made it more real.
 
1973 brought the final move (town NOT home) to Sutton Coldfield… much protested at the time, but proving to be Mum’s ultimate destination. As in Leeds she became involved in the community through the church and beyond. Her contributions included organising Family Weeks, writing in The Bell, participating in Traidcraft events with Ruth, initiating a poetry group in her mid-80s or being part of the World Development Group, as well as knitting and LOTS of natter!

During this time, as a result of a “holiday job” I took, Alan McHale came into our lives. Alan won Mum and Dad’s hearts and he became one more member of the family, along with Vicky, Nina and James. Alan has always looked upon Mum and Dad as if they were his parents, and as with all of us, gained the confidence to go out into the world and “fly”, knowing that, in Alan’s words, “Mum always had my back”.
 
Friends were and have always been extremely important to Mum. Some of her happiest adult times have been with friends. Coffee mornings with Peggy and Josie, shopping trips and Bonfire/New Year parties in Leeds. Jaunts to her beloved Lake District, auctions, the theatre and tennis matches with Flo. Jazz and curry at the Kababish, her favourite restaurant, with Brian. Cricket with Kathleen. 
She also embraced and loved the energy of our friends, as well as her own, running an Open House on the basis of “ if you are here with your friends, I know where you are!”
 
Mum has never been a conformist and was always ready to challenge within many aspects of her life. I know that grandchildren found this highly engaging and amusing; though, on occasions less so for her children and husband! 
We were all encouraged to be “Free Spirits”, show the world what we could do, and never let anyone stop us because of our gender.

Possibly Mum’s biggest asset was her sense of humour; which she maintained to the end. Yes, she was our Queen and sometimes behaved regally; however, the twinkle in her eye when we were laughing about family anecdotes & idiosyncrasies but most of all about her own foibles, was a joy. 
 
Some of you will know that she had organised this event years ago and had a ‘funeral folder’. She wanted to share it with Liz a long time ago but Liz refused, saying,” I’ll look at that when I need to” and, teasingly, ‘Anyway you won’t be able to do anything about it if I ignore it…’ Mum’s response… ’Don't you bet on it Elizabeth…' 
 
Mum's family meant everything to her. Her love and appreciation, extending to our chosen partners, Angie, Chris, Gordon and Rob, who she embraced as her own. There was a constant in everything she said about us, and in the last 2 weeks of her life she reiterated it.
She was so proud of all 4 daughters, her 8 grandchildren, and their partners. Gwen and Henry, her great grandchildren, just gave her joy. 
 
She especially loved the fact that we are all very different. As she put it: "all our family are nice, there isn't anyone who isn't lovely...  aren't we lucky." 
Indeed, we are. That she and dad were such very different people from each other may be the source of that. 
 
So, we must celebrate a life well lived. 
Mum, be at peace now. 
It was an honour and thank you for all of your love"

Additionally, the eight grandchildren shared some important memories within their Bidding Prayers:

We thank you for Grandma
She cared for everyone and taught me that kindness and chocolate should be given freely and liberally to all.
For Grandma everything could be solved (or at least helped) by a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit.
Help us to follow Grandma’s example, being interested in the lives of other people, caring for and about them, and sharing with others what is special to us
   
We thank you for Grandma
Grandma loved flowers. She had flowers in the garden, and whenever possible in her home. 
She would often say – “What a terrible place the world would be without flowers”
Help us to notice the flowers around us and to protect nature as well as we can.  

We thank you for Grandma
She was always warm, kind and had an infectious smile
Her determination, encouragement and pride in others stood out
She always had flowers… ginger biscuits and strawberry squash
Remind us to encourage the people we meet and never forget the importance of smiling 

We thank you for Grandma
I love that Grandma was so filled with music: singing, listening, encouraging others and being proud of her family performing anything for her, especially jazz.
She loved to send me off with her perfect ginger nuts (although she was never convinced they were gingery enough), to comfort me and make sure I was eating enough.
Help us to hear music in our lives and share the good things we have with others

We thank you for Grandma
She always inspired me to be a good person and to help people less fortunate than ourselves. Every time I visited; she gave me a feeling of home.
Her amazing strength and kindness will always inspire me and live within us all
Help us to know we are loved, and hold on to what is important in life

We thank you for Grandma
She was always passionate about her passions. Whether that was making sure everyone was well fed and looked after, following the cricket on the radio, tennis on tv or beating her grandchildren at Rummikub – especially my brother or me
Help us to follow our passions – especially those that allow us to connect with others

We thank you for Grandma
She taught me the importance of living a life with no regrets, that having fun is more important than work. That family and community are very important, so we should make time for both.
I will miss her zest for life and how she coped through difficult times... she always knew how to laugh.
We are very lucky to have had such a special Grandma
Help us to maintain a zest for life, and look for the positives even when things get tricky

The service itself was thoughtfully led by Fr Allen, with Fr David (now a bishop) a close fried of both Mum & Dad concelebrating Mass. She was buried, with Dad, on a cold sunny day at Oscott College, where we left her with some beautiful flowers. 

As a family we would like to thank everyone for the many kind words, messages of support and sharing of memories on this day and since - they have meant a great deal to us all

Christine